Comments on: Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships

By: March Money Madness Winners Have Been Named / Weekly Roundup

March Money Madness Winners Have Been Named / Weekly Roundup — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 09:59:14 +0000

[...] Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships written by Matt Jabs at Debt Free Adventure. Matt’s charity Habitat for Humanity received a $500 gift! Congratulations Matt! [...]

By: Nine Signs That You're Broke | Fickle Finance

Nine Signs That You're Broke | Fickle Finance — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 05:32:06 +0000

[...] I’ve found that it’s very easy to be late on paying a bill or two. But the next thing you know, the collection department was calling. I know that for some, worrying about bills keeps them up at night. In the worst cases, it can cause arguments with your spouse, as Matt Jabs explained so well in this post. [...]

By: Championship Round of March Money Madness / Roundup

Championship Round of March Money Madness / Roundup — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 09:50:30 +0000

[...] Debt Free in One Year: A True Story is one of the finalists! I am pitted against a great post Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships written by Matt Jabs from Debt Free Adventure. Many thanks to Free Money Finance for hosting [...]

By: Matt Jabs

Matt Jabs — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:29:52 +0000

Thank you Mr. Perdue!

Your “lead by example” attitude is a blessing for your wife, and although she may not always show it, I am sure she appreciates your firm stance. Later in life you’ll be thanking yourselves mightily and, Lord willing, should be able to rest easy and bask in the light of your healthy financial decisions.

Now if only you could stop that guy down the hall from putting shampoo on your door handle you’d be all set!

Emmons 16 rules for life

By: Emmons15

Emmons15 — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 07:13:08 +0000

Matt,
Great article! I really enjoyed it and love the M.A.D…(as a math teacher, I may have to borrow that one!) I hope that my wife and I come to great financial understandings, and I appreciate you being open about your family finances.

I will add that before we took the plunge of marriage, we had a sit down (mid-date) about her credit cards debt she was in…

I simply told her that I wasn’t interested in living our lives in debt, and wasn’t interested in jumping into debt at marriage. I asked her to pay off her credit cards and she did, and to this day we pay them in full!

Sometimes it simply takes someone in the marriage to be the leader and set the expectation…I often have brought up the concept of wants and needs…it doesn’t always go over well, but by leading by example in the choices I make in my purchases, she has come to understand this concept much better.

Congrats on as #1 top personal finance post of the week in the Best of Money Carnival #5!

By: Matt Jabs

Matt Jabs — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:26:43 +0000

Thank you Robin. Isn’t it amazing how getting things under control reduces our anxiety? Many times we are quick to anger or quick to be anxious simply because we ourselves were unprepared!

What a blessing it is to realize these truths, then move forward to gain better control over our own situation… then move on to create our own opportunities and chase our true dreams.

Your story is very encouraging.

By: Robin Poulin

Robin Poulin — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 16:42:27 +0000

I love your post and incorporation of trust in God.
I agree that you both need to understand the finances whether it’s fun or not for you. If you do those things you’ve said by identifying each others strengths/fears that’s half the battle. I think you’ve done great in using your strengths and putting things in place to overcome your wife’s fears.
My husband is definitely left-brained thinker and I’m more right-brained but love math too. I had the tendency before I got married to feel angry about money as well. Now I see it was just anxiety because of not having a job to pay well enough to meet my needs – but was working on changing that with a college education and then a better job. I was married in the middle of that and so my husband already had a good job and knew how to budget well. He taught me some great budgeting principles and money discussions quickly became less scary for me. It got even better when we created a program for ourselves to know exactly where every penny went and could look to the future to know when we could afford different things. We talked about all major buying decisions and they could be made quickly with our program so money talks are now not scary at all for me. In fact I look forward to them because we’re discussing our dreams now and how close we are to having them, no worries about IF we can keep up on current bills. That is peace of mind.
Thanks for your words and spirit of faith. Good luck with your budgeting to you and your wife.

By: H Lee D

H Lee D — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:16:29 +0000

@ Mom: that happened in our family. My aunt, who was in charge of everything (financial, household, kid, etc.) died suddenly of a heart attack at 47. Her husband and kid were left completely clueless. It really just added more sadness to the tragedy.

By: Myfreepedia.com » Blog Archive » Star Money Articles and Carnivals for the Week of June 29

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 07:57:51 +0000

[...] This week’s Best of Money Carnival was won by the post Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships. [...]

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #211 : Carnival of Personal Finance

Carnival of Personal Finance #211 : Carnival of Personal Finance — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:45:48 +0000

[...] The 211th edition of the Carnival of Personal Finance is now live at Green Panda Treehouse. Thanks to everyone who participated this week. Here are the highlights, listed as the Editor’s Picks: Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships [...]

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #211: Burn Notice Edition

Carnival of Personal Finance #211: Burn Notice Edition — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:02:08 +0000

[...] Debt Free Adventure has some wonderful tips with Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships. [...]

By: Carnival of Money Stories - Declaration of Independence Edition — StretchyDollar

Carnival of Money Stories - Declaration of Independence Edition — StretchyDollar — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:51:31 +0000

[...] Jabs presents Identify & Overcome Money Anxiety & Stress in Relationships posted at Debt Free [...]

By: Best of Money Carnival #5

Best of Money Carnival #5 — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:50:40 +0000

[...] 1 – Identify & overcome money anxiety & stress in relationships [...]

By: Matt Jabs

Matt Jabs — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:19:24 +0000

Maybe your girlfriend has some undiscovered money anxiety?

By: Studenomist

Studenomist — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 18:17:55 +0000

One thing I want to mention is that some people simply hate talking about their income/expenses. You may need to ease into the conversation or simply sugar coat everything you say. My girlfriend hates it when I bring up the topic of saving money but she eventually gives us in when I show her what else she can be doing with her money (moving out, vacations). It’s good to hear that the money talk is finally turning a corner with you and your wife.

P.S. I really like Craig’s idea.
.-= Studenomist´s last blog ..Why Should You Accept Personal Finance Advice From Me? =-.

By: Friday’s Finance Followers – Last Minute Vacation Edition | Suburban Dollar

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:02:00 +0000

[...] submitted a great read on overcoming money related anxiety and stress. My wife and I still deal with this from time to time and it is always helpful to gain perspective [...]

By: Jason@RedeemingRiches

Jason@RedeemingRiches — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:02:43 +0000

Great post. I would add Philippians 4:6-7 as a helpful section of scripture to meditate on and use as a weapon against anxiety. This passage has helped me with many aspects of life I tend to get anxious about.

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

By: Matt Jabs

Matt Jabs — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:02:34 +0000

Excellent idea Craig. What an awesome concept… turning a budget meeting into a “date”! Now that is a scenario that will appeal to my wife! I believe you may be on to something there.

By: Matt Jabs

Matt Jabs — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:00:42 +0000

Great additional reason to share financial information with your spouse!

I should also add that all of the financial information should be documented somewhere safe! Institutions, account numbers, passwords, etc… but it’s another post for another day!

By: Steve Rhode

Steve Rhode — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:47:34 +0000

Great post about how money problems and issues are not about the money. I always find it curious that people will hook up with a stranger and swap bodily fluids but not want to talk about money. Gee, which is more intimate.

Steve
@GetOutOfDebtGuy